Isolated Love
by marspotterfan33343
Summary: This is an AU version of what happens after Ron leaves Harry, and Hermione when they are traveling together during the 7th book. Summary sucks I know XD I promise the story is better than the summary
1. Abandonment

**Abandonment**

* * *

"This isn't happening. He can't really be gone. He wouldn't do this to Harry-to me," the thoughts inside the bushy haired brunettes mind were running rampant. Nothing was controlled, or safe anymore, even the sanctuary of the beating of her own heart was gone. Hermione Granger. The one girl that always had the answers. She had run clear out of them, and had become a shell of the girl she had been mere months before. Now Ron had broken her. Sometimes they would fight, and others threaten, but never like they were right now. He had stormed away, after fighting with Harry, and left them on their own to fend for themselves. Now she had an ache in her heart the size of Texas, and a feeling in her bones that Ron was going to get hurt.

She closed her eyes, and took in a breath of air. She was seated on a blanket that Harry had brought out to her, an hour, or so ago, and her eyes were red, and puffy. It was obvious that she had been crying, and tears still streamed down her nearly frozen cheeks. She was in fear, for the life of everyone she loved, and now Ron had simply added to her worries. If only he hadn't been wearing the necklace, he never would have fought with Harry, and he never would have stormed out of the tent like he had. She knew this was partially her fault for suggesting that he had to wear it. She felt a breeze rustle her hair, and her throat was sore. She had called out for Ron until her voice had gotten hoarse from her screaming, so she had forced herself to give up.

She glanced down at her lap, and smoothed the creases in her pants. Harry was inside the tent, she could hear him mumbling to himself, and the rustling of the map was visible. He missed Ginny terribly, and she knew that just as well as anyone else did. He checked that map every night, and refused to sleep without it slipped beneath his pillow. Hermione, and Ron used to sneak into each others beds at night to whisper, and talk briefly to each other. Harry never knew about the secret meetings they had, about him, and she knew that he was better off knowing nothing about them. "How could you Ron...," She kept playing through what she was going to say to him if she ever saw him again, and her mind forced her to get carried away.

She stood the tears continued down her flushed cheeks, and she shouted to the trees, and air around her, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US RON!," She screamed, and slammed her arms at her sides, "HUH! DO YOU LIKE TO HURT ME!" She knew that he couldn't hear her, but she didn't care. She wanted to let her frustrations out, and this was the only way she could do it. She felt arms closing in around her waist, and suddenly Harry's scent was engulfing her as she turned around, and buried her face into his neck. He was all she had now. They had to work together if they expected to destroy, and find the remaining Horcruxes in the world. She knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but that didn't matter to her, not now anyways.

"Shh Hermione everything is going to be fine, he will come back...you will see." Harry mused, and she knew that he was only trying to make her feel better, but she could hear the evident worry in his voice, and she knew exactly how he would feel if Ron ended up getting himself killed because of the fight that had caused his leaving. Hermione pulled away from Harry's warm, inviting embrace, feeling her stomach clench, and unclench in worry, and fear. She couldn't manage words, but she nodded in response to Harry, biting her bottom lip, as she felt his fingertips graze her cheeks, and wipe away the tears that continued to fall, "Bloody hell Hermione...your cheeks are like ice!" He acknowledge noticing the cold feel of her skin, "Come in, we must get you warm" He whispered, and draped his arm around her shoulder leading her into the tent.

It looked small from the outside, but it was spacey on the inside, and very homey. It was probably the closest thing the world had right now to any form of sanctuary at all. She allowed a breath to escape her lips as she allowed Harry to lead her back inside. She wasn't in the right state of mind to be passing judgments right now, and so that was what caused her to go inside just like he asked, and she allowed him to lead her to the bed, "We must get some tea in you" he insisted, while sitting her down upon his bed, and her teeth started chattering within her mouth. She hadn't realized it when she was outside, but her entire body had gone completely numb, and she couldn't even feel her fingertips. Harry walked to the table, grabbing the teapot, before put it over the fire to warm some water, before he rubbed his hands together, going back to her side.

"How...?" She whispered, "How...could he Harry...?" She asked the tears were still in the bottom of her eyes threatening to fall at any moment. She feared for Ron now more than ever. He was angry, and he was lost, and she wasn't even certain he would be able to find them again, or that she would ever even see him again.

Harry moved back to his place beside her, wrapping a gentle arm around her shoulder, while shaking his head, "He was upset...I don't know how Hermione." He said at last after a long period of silence except for the crackling of the fire, and the sound of the wind, and snow outside. She allowed her head to lay upon Harry's shoulder, and stared aimlessly into the fire.

"I miss him...what if...I never see him again?" She whispered the tears falling again as the fire illuminated her eyes. She lifted her head enough to glance at Harry who was still staring into the fire his jaw set, and his glasses set on the bridge of his nose.

He shook his head, "I don't know Hermione..." He whispered solemnly, "I don't have the answer this time..." he told her, before he stood from his spot beside her as the kettle started to make noise, she bit her bottom lip, and closed her eyes, as more tears fell, while nodded. So much had gone wrong, but only one thing had stayed the same. Hermione knew that no matter how much time passed that Harry was always going to be there for her. He was the one thing she could count on fully all the time. She watching him finish the tea, and allowed her eyes to focus in on him as he poured them each a cup, and she took it without saying another word.

She took a sip, felt it flush down her throat, and heat up her entire body in an instant. She didn't want the warmth though. More than anything else she wanted to feel the numb sensations that she had been feeling for the last 3 hours she had spent out in the cold, hoping, and praying that by some miracle Ron would apparate back, and be with them once more, but no such thing happened. She knew that her, and Harry were left to their own means now, and nothing else was going to save them, or be there beside them to protect them.

Hermione finished her tea, and Harry took her cup putting it on the table, before watching her sit silently staring down at her own feet. The silence was deafening to Hermione. She couldn't live without Ron, and she knew that if he died something deep inside of her would die forever with him in this war. She watched as Harry traced his footsteps back to her side, and stared at her gently, and silently. She could see that he wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how. Ron had comforted her, by laying beside her at night, and held her, but now he was gone, and she had only Harry, who was more troubled than any of them by her side. She closed her eyes, and exhaled deeply. She felt exhaustion flowing through her, because she had drained every ounce of energy on Ron.

"You look exhausted...you should sleep" Harry told her at last, and she nodded silently, and he leaned down helping her out of her shoes, and socks, and she pulled off her jacket, and Harry turned away as she removed her shirt, and slipped on one of Harry's. They hadn't had time to wash their clothes, and she had taken to wearing the boys shirts that went down to her thighs. She pulled off her jeans, and threw them on the floor beside the bed, and Harry watched her observing as she crawled beneath the covers. He took a place beside her on the bed, and she allowed a forced, and exhausted smile to form across her lips.

"I will let you rest..." he said softly stroking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear, and shook his head gently. He watched the traces of her skin in the moonlight, and the shadows were shown against the wall as she laid there.

Hermione saw Harry hesitate, before getting up once more from his spot beside her, and she grasped his arm preventing him from leaving her side, "Please..." She whispered, "Don't leave..."he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as she kept a firm, but gentle grasp on his wrist.

"What do you mean?" He asked her seeing her pleading look by the light of the fire. She looked entirely broken, and scared again the smile had faded, and no traces were left across her features in the slightest.

"Well...Ron would always...lay beside me..." She knew it sounded silly, and childish, but she had always been able to sleep better if she wasn't alone, especially when times were as hard as they were right now, and Harry allowed a hesitant, smile to trace his lips, "As you wish Hermione, anything for you" He declared, before lightly slipping off his shoes, and socks. He felt her grasp on his arm cease as he pulled off his jacket, and his shirt, and laid down beside her. She automatically out of habit immediately snuggled up beside him, and buried her face in his chest. He glanced down at her, wrapping an arm around her slim body, and stroked her hair. Before Hermione could stop herself she had mumbled, "Thanks..." And drifted into a slumber, and Harry was soon to follow her.

* * *

Sweat was building on Harry's shirt, and violent images were thrashing behind his closed eyelids. Horrors, and nightmares were taking over his never pleasant dreams, and he started tossing, and turning on the bed. Hermione had already awoken, when he had started moving beside her. She watched as he screamed out in his sleep, and jerked on the bed. Tears streamed down her cheeks, "HARRY HARRY WAKE UP!" She started shaking him, after about ten seconds of shaking him he jumped up in bed, and looked around himself. His chest was moving up, and down rapidly, his heart was pounding, and she could see the sweat built on his forehead. She couldn't image the horrors that he witnessed within his mind, behind his closed eyelids.

She didn't think that she could ever dream anything half as bad as what he went through. She lifted her hand, and pressed it to her own pounding heart, for a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around Harry comforting him, "Shhh it's alright now, your safe..." She mused trying to calm his overwhelmed mind. He wrapped his arms around her, and continued breathing erratically, "Hermione...it was him...again..." She always knew what he was talking about, and she knew that now on top of everything else he had Ron, and Voldemort to worry about. She pulled back, searching his eyes.

"Let me make you something to eat." She whispered gently, but he shook his head.

"No...I just need...rest..." he told her his voice shaking, and she furrowed her eyebrows again wanting him to be better, but she knew that neither of them were having settling dreams. Her own dreams had been about Ron, and whether she would even see him alive again. With times being so dark there was no guarantee that anyone would survive, not even the muggle world could sleep easy, even though they had no idea, what sort of chaos the world was truly in. They only knew that strange, and unexplainable occurrences were happening all over England.

"Are you sure?" She asked him her legs tucked under her as she remained beside him. The covers, and bed was drenched with both of their sweat from bad dreams. She nodded, and leaned back against the wall, "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked her voice barely audible. He allowed his eyes to transfer to her, before he lifted his glasses off the table, and planted them on the bridge of his nose once more.

"There isn't anything to talk about Hermione..." he told her, "Ron is gone, and Voldemort is getting stronger, by the day" He shook his head, and planted his own back against the wall, and she glanced over at him. He knew how much she hated for him to speak the name of Voldemort, but yet he still did it. She wasn't as surprised as she once was, it was just a name, but still it was the name of one of the most evil wizards of not only their time, but of all time, with the blood of Salazar Slytherin running through his veins there was no telling what form of power he already possessed, and the longer they had to remain here, the worse things got.

She nodded biting her bottom lip, "I'm sorry Harry...I shouldn't have asked," She knew the subject would be touchy. He never wanted to talk about much of anything anymore let alone something about Voldemort, or his dreams that happened nightly, "We should just...sleep." She mused, and looked over at the dead fire. It had burned out, from the looks of it about an hour ago, but the blankets kept her plenty warm enough, especially with Harry, and his sweating, from all of the dreams he had.

"Hermione-"

"No Harry...I shouldn't have said anything..."

He shook his head, but she had already settled back down into the bed, and turned onto her side burrowing once more into his chest. He couldn't help, but to think that he was a terrible friend. He knew that no matter what he was never going to deserve the form of loyalty that Hermione was giving him, and he deserved to loose Ron. He pulled off his glasses again, and burrowed back under the covers beside her gently wrapping his arms around her once more knowing that if he wasn't careful he would soon loose her as well.

Her soft breathing turned into nearly silent snores as once more they both tumbled into their own private hells. Nothing could rescue either one of them, and they both knew it well. Hermione was trapped within her own mind, and so was Harry due to their awful dreams, and Ron's leaving them both on their own.

* * *

She awoke at six AM sharp, and turned over in the bed rolling onto Harry's stomach on accident. She was used to simply rolling out of bed, slipping her feet into her slippers, and starting a timely breakfast. It took her several seconds to figure out who she had rolled onto, before she opened her sleep filled eyes, and saw Harry underneath her waking up from the weight of her. She slowly stood up, and backed away from him wanting him to at least get some form of sleep, before she went back to wallowing about Ron's absence. She wanted to stay where they were as long as possible, just in case Ron decided to come wandering back to her, like he normally did. He almost always came back after a fight, but since he wasn't back yet Hermione was really starting to worry.

She slipped on her slippers, before walking to the kettle Harry had left perched on the table, and grabbed her wand off the table as well filling the pot with water, she walked to the fireplace, igniting a fire, so that she could heat the water. She placed the kettle on the small hook, and walked away looking down at the big shirt that was covering her body. She needed to find more suitable clothes, but decided against it for the time being. She didn't feel like getting dressed, and she pulled the rangled ponytail from her hair, and let her hair flow freely once more, dangling just below her shoulders.

She yawned, silently pacing the floor waiting for the sound the kettle makes when the water is done. She liked doing things the muggle way, which was something that sometimes irked Harry, since it would take mere seconds to use her wand to be able to make the water warm, but right now she needed a small sense of her home, and what it was like back there. The familiar whistle started, so she walked back to the kettle, and pulled it from the hook lightly pouring the water into a cup, and poured another cup for Harry who was now stirring, from the sound.

She silently walked to his side, and wafted the cup beneath his nose, "Here you go Harry..." She told him, "Just how you like it" She knew that he had had another rough night, so she wanted to make him feel at least a little bit better. Silently she watched him sit up in bed, grab his glasses, and shove them up the bridge of his nose. She smiled, handing him the cup, before walking to the table, and seating herself barely making a sound. She was still feeling bad about upsetting him the night before, then again it was far too easy to set off Harry these days. He was always on edge thanks to all that had been thrown at the trio-now duo-over the past few years.

"Rough night?" Harry asked her as he strolled towards her, raising an eyebrow at her outwards appearance. She had dark circles beneath her eyes, her hair hadn't been combed, so she looked like something out of a horror movie. He was honestly worried about her.

She laughed halfheartedly, "Your asking me if I had a rough night? Your the one that woke up screaming" She teased for a minor second forgetting the pain the fortnight had brought. She wanted to live in happy little moments like these for eternity, never having to look back, and see the bad times, but she knew that her thoughts were unrealistic. She had more to worry about then her own problems these days, Harry was part of every decision that was made. They had to think as a team neither of them had to think alone, nor should they think alone.

"Speaking of rough, look at you! Your only wearing my shirt" He teased back, and she shook her head, taking another sip of the tea. She liked wearing her friends clothes she felt somehow it suited her.

"Oh hush, I like this shirt" She informed him.

He nodded, and took another sip saying not another word about her shirt, or style of appearance. He had more dire worries, regardless of what she was doing, "I wonder what Ron would think" He teased, and the conversation rushed to a hault at the word Ron.

She immediately slammed her tea cup onto the table, and pushed the chair back.

"Hermione I-"

"Don't" She huffed pulling on her jeans, coat, and shoes, before storming out of the tent sitting down outside on the snow-covered ground by a tree just like she had the night before. The abandoned blanket was right where she had left it the night before when Harry had forced her inside. She heard the sigh from Harry. He already felt bad she knew by the automatic sigh that he wished he could take back his words, but the truth was out. He couldn't. All she wanted was Ron to come waltzing out of the trees safe, and sound, but he may never be able to do that again now that he was gone for good.

She knew Harry hadn't meant to say it, but it all hurt just the same. It struck her deep down inside for him to say anything about what he had said, but she had to deal with it now. So she remained leaning against the tree watching the sun rising in the east. Praying that a miracle would bring Ron back to her today.

* * *

**- AN: I have big plans for this story ;D **

**You will all have to wait and see them! I can't wait to progress through this story, it will definitely be intense/shocking. Please Read, and Review! Thank you!**

**-Anna  
**


	2. New Day

New Day

* * *

Sitting outside in the cold, feeling the snow falling all around her, Hermione felt slightly comforted by it all. She wanted nothing more than for Ron to come back, but somehow the numb feelings rushing through the inside of her body was enough for her to feel as if she was with Ron. She wished that there was a form of spell that could transport her to Ron's side right now, so she could drag him back where he belonged, but there wasn't, and so therefore she couldn't. Her senses were on alert though. Every snap of a twig, or sound in the snow, she snapped her head in the direction the noise was coming from, looking expectantly just to find some form of wildlife instead of Ron. She tortured her brain in that way for about 4 hours, only stopping for a bathroom break.

She heard the rustling, then the sound of muttering inside the tent, so she knew that Harry was concentrating on finding their next designation for another Horcrux. It was only a matter of time before they had to leave, if Ron didn't return he wouldn't have anyway of finding them again. Her eyes were still puffy from all of the crying that she had been allowing lately. Times were mad, anyone on the street could tell you that much, that was the only reason Hermione was as worried as she was about Ron's leaving her. She heard the crunching of the frosty white snow, behind her, but she didn't bother to turn, to see, because she already knew that it was Harry. He was probably coming to apologize for upsetting her, it was just like him.

She knew that he cared, about her. He was always going to care. She felt him sitting himself beside her, and looked straight ahead. Her hands were grasping at the sides of the blanket she had since wrapped around herself, while her body trembled from the cold. Harry was worried she knew it the moment that he situated himself beside her, and spoke. "Hermione, you should come back inside, you will freeze out here." He told her, and she looked over at him her eyes searching his, before looking back down at the ground.

"I want to wait, he will come back, you will see!" She replied pointedly, and stiff.

"Hermione pleas-" "Harry I don't want a lecture, just leave if that's what you want" She told him, her mind was still racing as she tried to imagine life without Ron, if he didn't come back to be with them both again.

"I only want you to be safe Hermione, Your freezing." He observed, as he glanced over her body watching the chills rush through her. He was afraid she was going to catch pneumonia, that was the last thing that either of them needed, especially since there wasn't a hospital nearby, or that was safe to take her to, "I don't want you to catch a cold." He continued, and looked at her seriously.

She sighed, knowing that Harry had enough to worry about without her sitting outside, catching a cold. She allowed him to slip his arm into her own, so that she could stand, and he could lead her back towards the tent. Once more she felt the automatic warmth of the inside. As much as she wanted to stay outside, she didn't need to worry Harry anymore than she already appeared to have. He let go of her arm, allowing her to walk to the fire, sitting in front of it she let out a deep breath. She listened to the soothing crackling of the flames as they danced across the logs. She still had the blanket draped around her shoulders, and her mind was racing, but this time she was worried about Harry.

She glanced over at her best friend who was walking towards the kitchen table, "I made dinner, if you want some." he told her beckoning to the table. She nodded, before standing, and allowed the blanket to fall off of her shoulders, onto the floor where she had just been seated. She walked up the steps, and took her usual seat at the table. She was usually the one that did most of the cooking, because Ron certainly loved to eat, but had no clue how to cook, and Harry wasn't much better he usually either burned himself, or the food.

This time he had actually made an improvement on his cooking. The food wasn't burned, and it actually looked delicious, "Thanks Harry." a smile curled upon her lips as she started eating the mashed potatoes that were on her plate. She wondered if he had cheated in some way, but she didn't question him, because she wanted to keep the peace for as long as she possibly could. Though her anger was easily triggered, because she was the one currently wearing the horcrux necklace that had caused Ron to lash out.

"Your welcome Hermione." he told her in-between mouthfuls of food. She picked at the morsels on her plate, she didn't have much of an appetite, because of Ron's absence. He always knew how to liven up the conversation, without him the table was silent. She tried to start a conversation, but all she managed to get out of Harry was a few grunts, mixed with words. It was a hopeless cause, she could sense it right away. She leaned back against the chair, for a few moments, before she pushed away her plate that was only half eaten.

"Hermione...you need to eat!" he told her as he observed her half eaten meal.

"I'm just not hungry." She talked back.

"But Hermio-" "No, don't you dare, Harry! Your don't get to give me any lectures about my eating habits, not when your the one that chased Ron away in the first place!" She was already starting to bring tears back into her eyes as she shouted at Harry in frustration.

Harry stood from his spot at the table, he couldn't loose another friend, especially not right now. He walked to her until he was standing in front of her, before reaching behind her neck, unhinging the dreadful necklace, and discarding it onto the bed, "I'm sorry Hermione, if there was anything I could do...I would, you know that." He told her, his eyes shifting to the ground in shame.

She just bit her lip, shaking her head, and walked to the bed, throwing herself down onto it looking up at the ceiling. She had way too much running through her mind to think about losing anything, else. The necklace being lifted from her neck had taken a large burden off her chest, so she was able to calm down. Harry wasn't going to let her be alone in the grief she could see that from where she was sitting on the bed. She could tell that he felt awful for Ron's leaving, and she knew that dwelling on Ron's absence wasn't going to make anyone feel any better about anything.

"I know Harry...I'm sorry." She told him knowing that her outburst had probably been hurtful to him. He nodded, walking back to his bed, sitting down on it, he pulled out his map from under the pillow, and started checking it. He was probably searching for Ginny again. At least he knew she was safe, or at least alive, with Ron she didn't know if he was safe, or being kidnapped, or anything right now. She didn't have even the slightest clue what Ron was going through that was preventing him from coming back, or even if he wanted to come back to them. She didn't know, and it was the not knowing that was slowly killing her inside. The room remained silent for several minutes, as they were both lost in their own separate thoughts.

She heard the soft sound of tears, behind her, therefore she turned around, and saw Harry he was wiping his glasses on his shirt, while tears rolled down his cheeks. She knew that he was in just as much pain as she was, and it was rare for Harry to cry. She rolled over in bed, and stood up walking to his side, kneeling down in front of him looking up. "Harry I'm sorry" She whispered not sure why he was crying, as she lifted her fingers, and wiped away his tears. She wanted to be here for him in every way she possibly could.

"Everything is wrong, I don't know what to do anymore Hermione." Harry told her while he shook his head.

"We will figure this out together." She promised lifting her hand to squeeze his, and he looked down at her hand as it laid gently in his she moved up off the floor, and sat beside him lightly placing her head down on his shoulder silently squeezing his hand. He squeezed hers back knowing that they both needed comfort. She felt her own tears starting to fall, whenever someone else was crying she ended up crying too. She knew that Harry was just as terrified as her, but they had to not think about the worst. They had to only think about the positive that could come out of this.

"Your smart Hermione, the smartest girl I know, I know you will figure this out" He whispered.

"I promise Harry we will make it through this together" She squeezed his hand as she said together.

He nodded as they both fell silent. He looked down at her as she remained with her head on his shoulder, silently observing her his tears had stopped after a few minutes. She felt his eyes on her, and lifted her head off of his shoulder slowly looking over at him, before their eyes met. "Hermione..." He started, but she placed a finger gently to his lips.

"Shh..." She whispered, leaning in lightly she let their lips brush together, a gentle kiss was shared between them as they both closed their eyes, and she took her finger away. A moment of wishing for their lovers, her wanting Ron to be there, and him wanting Ginny. They caught themselves up in the moment. She allowed her lips to break away from his, and an exhale escaped his lips as she pulled back to look into his eyes searching them. For once she couldn't read his expression it was entirely blank. She wondered if he was angry with her. Had she done something to ruin their friendship? What were Ron, and Ginny going to say? She felt a blush creeping onto her cheeks as she at last came out of her trance, and felt a gasp escaping.

She allowed her fingertips to trail to her lips they were still tingling from the kiss. "Harry...I..." She allowed her voice to trail off. She had only meant to comfort him. She shook her head when he didn't say anything, and stood shakily from her spot on the bed, and walked slowly towards the dinning room table clearing all of the dishes, and put them in the sink. She lifted her wand from the table, and flicked it. The dishes started to clean themselves quickly, before putting themselves away.

She wanted to speak to Harry, but she didn't know what she was going to be able to speak to him now. She heard him moving around near his bed folding up the map, and slipping it underneath his pillow. She stared over at him, but he still wasn't giving away any of the emotions he was feeling right now. She didn't know whether he disliked the kiss, or enjoyed it. Hell she didn't even know what had possessed her to kiss him. A moment of pent up frustration? Passion? It was all too confusing to her to figure out.

She placed her wand back down on the table, walking towards her bed pulling off her clothes so that she could change. She was already starting to feel cold, because she had been outside most of the day. Pulling off her jeans she was once more in Harry's shirt only, before she slipped under the covers, "I'm going to bed" She called to Harry who was back to sitting on the edge of his bed across the room. She wanted him to come lay beside her, but she knew that tonight she couldn't ask that of him. It would be too awkward after the kiss. She didn't even know what the kiss meant, and now she knew that she was going to worry until she knew what he was thinking, but right now wasn't the time. She curled up on the bed, and fell asleep. She was exhausted from being out in the cold.

* * *

She awoke later on that night, as her nightmares once more overcame her, and she started awake. Glancing around herself she was covered in sweat, and Harry was sitting down in the couch in front of the fire a few feet away from her. She was drenched in her own sweat from silently tossing, and turning. Her heart was thumping as hard as it could, and she pressed her hand to her heart letting out small gasps of air. Everything was alright. She had been having a dream that Harry had died, and Ron along with him, while only she had been left standing. She shook her head knowing it was only a dream. She threw back the drenched covers, and planted her feet in her slippers that were next to her bed as she walked towards the couch by the fire.

She seated herself beside Harry who was still gazing silently into the crackling wicked flames. "Harry? Are you alright?" She asked him her eyes shone with worry, and fear for her best friend. He didn't answer he simply nodded, "Are you...mad at me?" She questioned further. At this he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Mad at you?" He asked her glancing towards her, meeting her eyes with his, before quickly glancing into the flames, "Course not." he told her his eyes careful not to leave the flames, and she knew that he was still probably wondering about the kiss just as much as she was.

"Erm...Good then." She muttered wanting to take his hand, but she didn't dare, because she knew where that had lead last time. He was clenching, and un-clenching his fists loosely as if stretching the muscles, "Well I guess I am going back to bed..." She told him awkwardly, "Perhaps you should too."

He nodded, "I was planning on it soon," He told her truthfully, and she bit her bottom lip silently nodding as she stood up from the couch, "We should probably clean this place up in the morning." He told her beckoning to the clothes, and other odd objects that they had left laying all over the ground.

"Alright," She told him, "I will clean it." Walking back towards her bed she laid down, and looked up at the ceiling. She heard the sound of Harry moving from the couch, and whispering a spell to put out the fire for the night. She turned onto her side listening to the other comforting sounds of him changing, but was surprised when she felt him slipping into bed beside her.

She rolled onto her side to face him, and searched his eyes for an answer, "I promised I would be here." Was the only answer he would provide, and she simply nodded, snuggling to his side, while closing her eyes. She hoped that he wouldn't awake screaming tonight, but as usual her wishes weren't granted.

* * *

Screams, and cries pierced the night, followed by the burning of Harry's scar. Hermione awoke beside him severely disturbed by his nightmares, "Shh Harry I am here," She rubbed his arm as she shook it, and he awoke with a start once more in the night. She sighed, knowing it was probably near three in the morning. He was exhausted, and so was she, "I won't let anything harm you." She promised him. He reached for his glasses, and planted them back on his face, and he glanced around the room silently taking it all in.

This time he was silent as he held her in his arms, he didn't have to explain his dreams she already knew exactly who he had been dreaming about. She always knew it had something to do with Voldemort. They stayed like that for a long time. With him leaning against the backboard, and her in his embrace. She sighed softly, and closed her eyes leaning against Harry's chest as he settled down into the bed. She needed her sleep, just as much as he did, but it seemed they both had the same problem. They would awaken screaming. It took them both nearly an hour to fall back asleep, and this time stay that way until morning.

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Dear PurveyorofPulchritude,  
XD wow that was the longest review I have ever read O.O But Like I always say Comments, and Constructive Critism are always welcome here :D I usually do use all the correct punctuation, and grammer, but keep in mind this idea popped into my mind about 10 o'clock at night, and I simply wrote it, and yea it sucks. I never read over it, and I will fix all the mistakes you listed :D Thanks for the help! Feel free to tell me how to fix this one :) I am always up for making my stories more interesting/better.  
Love,  
Anna

I love all of the rest of you guys :D R&R Appreciated!


	3. Tragedy

**Tragedy**

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Hermione rolled onto her side, the sound of birds chirping outside, and animals going about their daily business soothed her, if only temporarily. It made her think that even though times were dark, there could still be some form of normalcy even if the moments were few, and in-between. She sat up tracing her fingers through her tresses of tousled hair. All her memories from the night before came rushing back to her. The kiss that her, and Harry had shared, the nightmares they had both had. She shuddered at the thought of losing Harry as a friend right now. She tiptoed out of bed being careful not to rouse him just yet. She walked towards the dresser, she pulled out a fresh pair of jeans, with a t-shirt. She took a few moments to slip them on, before running a brush through her bushy-brown hair.

She glanced over towards Harry who looked-for the most part-like he was sleeping soundly for once. She didn't want to spoil it for him, she could tell that he was exhausted. She checked her watch, it read that it was 10 AM. She had slept in which was actually unusual for her, but in the mental state that she was in it was normal for her. She glanced down at the ground, and started cleaning up. She had alot of work to do, if Harry wanted this tent to be spotless. She started with the clothes that were strewn on the floor. She used a spell to start making them wash themselves, in the sink. Then she moved onto the rest of the odds, and ends. She lifted the necklace that had been forgotten on the floor, and put it on the kitchen table. She figured no one could get through the wall that was hiding the tent regardless, so no one should be wearing it for the time being.

She swept the floor, which took her about ten minutes, before she started to mop the floor. She had a duster working on all of the dusting. She wanted to put Harry in a good mood, so that when he awoke he would have something else to think about except the awkward kiss that had transpired between them. Her arms grew tired, over a few minutes, and she finished with a sigh standing back up. Her hair was sticking out of the messy ponytail on her head, while her face was flushed from all of the work she had been doing. She wiped off her forehead that was covered in sweat, and took a seat at the table. She was exhausted already, from all of the hard work. She looked at the watch on her wrist, it read 12. It had taken her two hours to clean, and Harry was still sound asleep.

She took a few more minutes, of resting, before she returned to her duties of cleaning. She walked to the kitchen, and started to put a few appliances away, and stumbled across a few bottles of alcohol. She furrowed her brow. She didn't remember seeing them there prior to now. She pulled one of the four bottles out of the cabinet, to read the label. It read :

To: Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Have fun with these, Love: Fred, and George.

She scoffed, before planting the bottle back into the cupboard. Leave it to the twins to give them all alcohol. She placed them in the back of the cupboard, before putting the other appliances back inside. She stood up, and heard shuffling on the bed, before she turned her attention towards where Harry was sleeping. He was awake, already shoving his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and standing from the bed glancing around the room. She had already set the fire, and cleaned the entire tent. She could tell by the look on his face that he was in complete awe of what she had done, but she never ceased to amaze him regardless, "You did all this on your own?" He asked her running his fingers through his tousled hair.

"Yea, you said you wanted it clean." She told him, with a shrug.

"I did, but you could have waited for me to help." he said with a smile.

"You can help now, Harry. I was just about to take a small break though."

He nodded, knowing that she was just as stubborn as he was, when it came down to the bone. She walked towards him, and wrapped her arms around him giving him a gentle hug, before sitting down in front of the fire, on the couch. She fidgeted as she glanced into the flames. She was still covered in sweat from all the cleaning, "You truly are amazing Hermione." Harry told her with a laugh, before starting to clean up, and tidy a few things, "I was thinking about the next place we can look for a Horcrux" Hermione stole her eyes away from the fire, and glanced at Harry. Her attention was peaked.

"Have you found another place to look?" She asked him.

"Well I am not entirely certain about this, but I was thinking that perhaps we could go more towards my own roots, back in Godrics Hollow." Harry told her.

She nodded thinking through what he had told her in her mind. She figured that the more they knew about Voldemort the better, and he had never visited his parents grave before, which even though he had never met his parents was still tragically upsetting, "At this point we have nothing more to loose" She mused gently, and he nodded solemnly knowing that what she said was more true than anything else. She was completely right as usual. They had sunken to their lowest, and now all that was left was their family to worry about.

They hadn't gone near the radio for the last two days, therefore neither of them knew what was happening in the outside world. Ron used to be the one to want to listen to the radio all the time, and now that he wasn't here neither of them had thought about it. Hermione's eyes traveled to Harry once more. He had turned back to the pantry, and was continuing to tidy, since Hermione had done everything else all day long. She was trying to read him, to see if he was still feeling the same tension that she was around him. She didn't know why she had kissed him, and she didn't want to end up doing it again.

It was wrong to feed off his emotions like she had, and she didn't want to ruin their friendship. She looked once more into the flames, "Perhaps we will go tomorrow?" She asked him wanting to stall their leaving as much as she could. She didn't want to miss Ron in case he came back looking for them. Her eyes stayed focused on the flames as she listened to the familiar sound of clanking dishes, along with the soft flow of water from the sink.

"Alright Hermione" he told her knowing that she was stalling, but also that she was exhausted from cleaning all day. She deserved a break from everything for a while as well. Hermione's eyes followed the edges of the flames in the fireplace, as her mind wrapped around the small fact that Harry wanted to see his parents home from right before they all died.

"Do you ever wonder if things would be different?" Hermione asked not looking away from the flames as she spoke, her mind only half with them in that moment.

"Different how?" He questioned her putting the dishes down on the table.

She simply shrugged, "With us, if the dark lord hadn't killed your parents? If we had never met?" She heard the sound of him clearing his throat, while his hands went back to working on the dinner.

"I suppose things would be different, but if Voldemort hadn't killed my parents he would have killed someone else, and the war still would have happened, except we wouldn't have each other to get us through it." He explained softly, finding it strange that for once he was the one answering the questions.

She nodded looking back into the fire, "Do you think I would still be alive?" She had tears brimming the edges of her eyes, and Harry stopped all of his preparing, while placing down the towel he had slung over his shoulder. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Hermione what are you saying?" His full attention was turned on her as he tried to sort out her intentions in his mind. She wasn't making any sense. She wasn't acting like the bushy-haired brainiac best friend he knew, and loved, but something different all together.

"Would I be alone? Would he have killed me?" She questioned still not turning away from the fire. Tears were brimming the edges of her eyes threatening to fall at a moment's notice.

He traipsed to her side tenderly sitting, beside her. Before he pulled her into his embrace, "Hermione you will never be alone. No one else is going to die, because of me, I won't allow it." He told her as she burrowed her face into his t-shirt gradually allowing the tears to cease. She knew that she had to stop showing this form of weakness around Harry. She didn't want to loose her best friend. The more she worried him the worse things were going to get. That was what concerned her more than anything else.

"I know Harry...I am sorry"

He shook his head, "No Hermione, you don't have to be sorry, not to me," He told her, "I allowed you, and Ron both to walk into this wilderness with me knowing full well that there was no guarantee any of us would come out alive. Now I have to live with the consequences." She shook her head furiously from side to side, "No Harry, you listen to me!" Hermione told him lifting her hands up, placing them on his cheeks, forcing him to look into her chocolate brown irises, "You don't get to blame yourself for this! I walked into this knowing that if I died I would save millions of people, because I am beside you Harry." She told him, "If I die it won't matter, your it Harry, your the only person that has to walk from this, because if you do, you will save every person left standing beside you." She dropped her hands from her cheeks realizing that she had put them on his cheeks.

He didn't say anything, for a while, then gradually stood, "I have to finish cleaning." was his excuse, before walking back into the kitchen leaving Hermione to her thoughts once more. She felt the tension, building in the pit of her stomach once more, before she walked to the radio. It was high time they turned it back on. She felt her stomach do flips as she turned the dial on the small radio, and heard the voices once more. It was time for the daily obituary read off. More people were dying by the day now then normally died in a year. Hermione listened for familiar names, while Harry fiddled with cleaning in the kitchen. It took a few hours for Harry, and Hermione both to finish with all of the work in the tent, but they managed, and by the time they finished it was already dinner time.

He made the dinner, figuring Hermione had done more than he had the entire day, and it was high time that he do some of the cooking. He told her to sit back down on the couch as he made dinner, and as exhausted as she was happily complied.

"Dinner is ready Hermione." He called after a few moments of silence except for the radio. She nodded solemnly as she walked towards the kitchen table where she sat. She saw him looking at her, "You didn't eat much last night, now you need to eat tonight." he told her.

She nodded calmly as he looked at her. She knew that he wasn't going to let her do anything that would harm her health, so she started eating, picking at the food mostly. Her eyes scanned over the table, because of everything that they had both said things got a little more awkward between them. She listened to another list of dead people on the radio, before she almost gagged on her food. They read off "Ginny Weasley" in the mix. She immediately snapped her eyes to Harry who had dropped his fork, and was now coughing on his food.

Hermione already had tears in her eyes, while she thought of how much this was going to scar Harry. He immediately pushed the chair back from the table, he ran to his bed pulling out the map from underneath his pillow. He was fumbling to open it, while Hermione pushed her own chair back, and waltzed after him. His eyes scanned the entire map, looking every room, every nook, and cranny, "She's not on the map Hermione...Ginny isn't on the map..." Harry was already panicking, and Hermione didn't know what to do about it.

"Harry, breath." Hermione whispered stroking his arm up, and down. She knew he was in too much of a panic to take her advice, and she was as well. She was freaking out alongside Harry. The information hadn't truly hit home yet. Ginny was gone, and she wasn't coming back. Hermione closed her eyes, a soft sigh was escaping her lips as she shook her head biting her bottom lip.

"She can't be gone..." he crumpled into a mess on the bed looking at the map expectantly, "She has to be alive..." He whispered.

Hermione sat down beside him stroking his back soothingly, "I'm so sorry." She whispered shaking her head again. She knew how much Ginny meant to Harry. Even if they hadn't been together Ginny was Harry's world, his everything. He checked that map every night so that he could be with Ginny at all times, even if they were miles apart. Both of them had tears rolling down their cheeks. Ginny was Ron's sister, and she was like a sister to Hermione. She couldn't be gone. Both, her, and Harry were in ultimate denial of the entire situation.

"Hermione..." He whispered, "What do we do? Should we go back?" He asked her.

She shook her head, "Harry you know it's too risky to go to the burrow, the death eaters will expect that" She told him.

"But she was my girlfriend...And , she is probably devastated!" he was still completely out of his mind with grief.

"Harry you know that we can't go back not until we have all the horcruxes!" She was worried, "Every death eater will be lurking around the burrow knowing that will be the first place you will go." She told him again.

He nodded at last shrinking once more into himself. She didn't know what to do about him. She didn't know whether to burst into even more tears, or hold them back for Harry's sake. She didn't know what was best. For the first time she didn't have a solution to a problem life threw at her. She felt completely powerless, and helpless. Harry was in tears, and was quickly settling into a shell of the person he had been merely minutes before. He had loved Ginny, she had never seen him love another girl like he loved Ginny, and now that she was gone he couldn't bare it.

"Your right," He told her after along passage of time, "We can't go back." He whispered his eyes staring blankly at the map not seeing anything at all really.

"Harry, your going to be alright." She assured him taking the map away from him, without him even attempting to fight her. She slipped it back under his pillow. This was going to be hard, especially since there wasn't an owl, or even a way to send any form of message to anyone right now. At this point they didn't even know how Ginny had died. Hell they couldn't even confirm that she had, and that scared her more than anything. What if they were going to mourn her for a death that never even happened. It was rare, but mistaken identity's happened. That still didn't explain her absence on the map, it had never been wrong.

He didn't say a word he simply sat with the tears streaming down his cheeks, while Hermione grasped his hand once more. She felt deja vu rush through her. It was just like the time before, but at the same time they hadn't kissed this time, and she was going to attempt to keep it that way. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked him, "Anything at all?" She searched his eyes with her own expectantly, but his were dead, and expressionless. "No" He whispered, "Please Hermione, I just..." His voice trailed off, and he pulled his hand away from hers before standing, and traipsing out of the tent. She sat in silence for several seconds her own tears falling. It was flurrying outside now, and Harry was still in a state of shock. She wasn't entirely sure allowing him outside was the best idea at this moment. She watched as the tent flap closed behind him, and her eyes transferred down to her lap. Harry wasn't going to be feeling, any better for a while.

She knew how much Ginny's death would devastate him, but at the same time they also couldn't go back. All of them knew what they were signing up for when they went on this journey. They couldn't return to anywhere public unless it was for a Horcrux. It was too risky. Hermione's eyes transferred to all the pictures that they had all hung on the tent walls. They were held up by magic-of course-and stayed put likewise. Hermione's eyes transfixed on a picture, of her, Harry, and Ron when they were much younger, before all of the heartache, and horror of the war had begun. Now they were trapped in a place that wasn't showing them even a small bit of comfort. Especially right now. She felt as if her heart had closed in on itself, and was beating out of control.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, before standing, walking to the tent flap that Harry had just walked through, and looked outside. He was near the edge of the safety circle kicking, and crying out in anger, and obvious pain. She felt more tears roll down her own cheeks, just from watching him. She wanted to help, but she didn't know how. This was bigger than a simple bad day, this was the worst day that could possibly happen. Harry was so upset sparks were flying from his wand that was clenched in his fist that he had pulled out of his jean pocket.

She rushed outside to where he was throwing his tantrum, throwing her arms around his neck trying to calm him. She felt him stop moving, while the sparks ceased from flying out of his wand, before he crumpled to the ground sobbing, and crying with Hermione being dragged down with him, "It's alright Harry, we will get through this together, I promise." He voice soothingly flowed as she closed her eyes allowing more tears to roll down her already pale cheeks. It was freezing outside, and the snow flakes were landing on them making them both appear to be turning into human snow people.

"She's gone Hermione..." He whispered, "Forever...Another person died...I tried to protect her..." He was rambling again.

"Harry we have to get back inside, you will freeze out here" She told him. Without waiting for him to speak she was already pulling him up from his spot on the ground, leading him back inside the room. She couldn't let him catch pnemonia, especially not now, after all they had both been through. Harry needed to stay strong, if they ever expected to save any of their friends. She knew it was too late for Ginny, but it wasn't too late for anyone else. Hermione helped Harry sit down on the bed. He had turned back into his shell tears still falling. Hermione looked down at her watch it was already almost six o'clock, and after everything that he was going through she knew he should be resting.

"Harry perhaps you should rest..." Hermione whispered softly lightly leaning down, starting to help him out of his snow-covered clothes, while he allowed it. She discarded them on the ground, before handing him his night clothes. He put them on, before lying down on the bed looking up at the ceiling. Hermione knew he was in shock, he probably didn't know what to think right now, and she knew his dreams were going to be awful, but she was going to be here for him, like he had been here for her. She would never abandon her best friend, especially not now when he needed her most.

She took his hand watching as he rolled onto his side, away from her, and she stood starting to clean up the dinner dishes. There was nothing more she could do, but hope that Harry, by some miracle was going to be alright. She put the dishes in the sink. She knew that every single time that a friend died he blamed himself for their death. He would say "if only I have been there for them,"or "at least been able to stop the darklord before it went this far." Hermione knew full well that all of these deaths were out of their control. They couldn't find the Horcruxes any faster than they already were, and there was nothing that Harry could do to change their speed.

Hermione walked to sit by the fire, feeling the heat wafting up to her face, and the solemn feelings that were rushing through her body weren't stopping. She felt like this was entirely her fault. In fact she knew all of this was her fault. She had insisted on turning on the radio, now Harry was even worse than before when Ron left. She wondered what Ron was doing right now, how he was reacting to the news. She prayed to god that he was at least smart enough to stay away from the burrow. If he went back there it would be the first place the death eaters would look, and they would find him, and god only knows what they would be doing to him right now if he had returned.

She heard the tears of Harry, he wasn't going to sleep easy, or even fall asleep easily tonight, but Hermione was going to be here beside him, because right now he needed a friend just as much as she did. She walked slowly towards the dresser pulling off her sweater, and jeans, before she dug through her clothes looking for a night shirt to wear. She settled on another one of Harry's, before slipping it over her head. She tied her bushy hair into a tight ponytail before she walked to Harry's bedside, and crawled in beside him.

She snuggled to his chest like she had every other night, for the past two nights, and closed her eyes. It was going to be a long night, and she knew that Harry wasn't going to be the only awakening with awful nightmares that were entirely too much to deal with. She was going to be here, just like she had for the last two nights.

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**AN: Hey guyyyyyys :P**  
**Yea its completely Alternate Universe ;D**

**Dear PurveyorofPulchritude,**

**Yea I am always up for constructive criticism :D It helps people get better.**  
**As for reading I actually read quite a bit. I read the most out of almost everyone in my grade (11th) and always have since second grade, I read constantly I usually have about 30 library books out at once :)**  
**& the loose/lose problem I think was my spell check :) I went back over the first chapter, and second chapter to read them I probably missed a few corrections:D All the mistakes you corrected, were probably something I missed haha And as for visualizations yea I completely fail at it XD I don't know how to describe something and make it good :( thats my problem with description, but you can definitely see my writing skills have improved since some of my earlier stories on here XD**


	4. Such a Mistake

**Such a Mistake**

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Hermione watched Harry struggle through the night. He had turned into a complete shadow, of what he was mere days before. She was watching him carefully. He ate very little, and didn't even want to go to find the Horcrux like they had planned the day before. 3 days passed, and he was like a walking, talking zombie. It was dreadful. Hermione watched as Harry walked back inside the tent from the outside. He had been outside for the last 3 hours in the cold just thinking about Ginny, and how her death had been partially his fault. Hermione couldn't bare to watch Harry disintegrate in front of her. She needed to make him do something, anything to take his mind off of Ginny. She watched as he sulked down onto the couch, and said nothing.

He hadn't talked much in the last few days. He would give an occasional grunt here, and there just to answer her questions if she asked him one. The small kiss they had shared was forgotten, just like Hermione had hoped, but not in the way she had hoped. She was just as upset about Ginny as he was, but Ginny also wasn't her girlfriend either. She couldn't image the kind of heartache he was going through, especially knowing that they had been on a break when Harry had left on the trip. He had broken up with her, simply because he knew that, if she remained his girlfriend she would always be in harms way. At least this way she had a chance, but they still got her. Hermione sighed softly watched as Harry threw off his soaking wet shirt, and ruffled his hair, before changing into a new one.

He sat down on the bed, before lying down staring up at the ceiling, "Harry, do you want some tea?" she asked hopefully as she looked at him.

He shifted on the bed, until he was looking at her, "Alright, sure." he muttered, which was probably the most she had gotten out of him in days. She smiled, and rushed to the kitchen starting a to put the kettle over the fire. She started to rub her hands to gather it was slightly chilly in the room.

"How are you doing?" She asked him trying to get him to talk to her. She took a spot beside him on the bed tenderly rubbing up, and down the length of his arm attempting to soothe him.

"Fine." He told her still not completely with her.

"C'mon Harry, you can't stay like this forever..." She whispered, "I know your hurting, but please Harry" She was practically begging him to try, and get over this. She felt her stomach flipping in circles as she felt him pull his arm away from her, "You just don't understand Hermione...You never will." he whispered, before walking away. She knew it was best not to say anything in reply, so she didn't. She silently watched him take the pot off the fire as it whistled, and pour himself a cup, before sitting at the table. She allowed herself to fall back onto the bed staring up at the ceiling silently. She wanted Harry to be happy, she wanted the burden to lift from his shoulders, and for him to know this wasn't his fault. He was only going to end up blaming himself forever. She stood from her spot on the bed. It was already four o'clock, and she knew that neither of them had eaten all day, but she wasn't hungry.

She wanted to feel numb again. She wanted to feel nothing at all rather than the pain that she was in this moment. She walked from the tent flap out into the snow. It had toned down since when Harry had been out there, and she moved to the closest tree, and seated herself. She wanted to think, and now that it was quite she could think easier. How could she get Harry out of this stupor. She looked up at the sky. It was a grayish white, and it looked incredibly awful in the sky. She didn't like the look of it, it meant more snow. She shivered as her body attempted to adapt to the cold. She kept her back pressed against the bark of the tree. Her eyes scanning the snow for any sign of people, or animals even. There was nothing, but trees.

She stayed outside for at least an hour, or two, until it got dark outside, and the moon was reflecting in her eyes. She could see the light coming from the tent, and another sigh escaped her lips. She heard the sound of stumbling, and then the breaking of a dish, and she snapped her head towards the tent immediately standing. She ran to the tent, and went inside glancing around. Harry had gotten into the alcohol that the twins had left for them, and he had already downed half of the giant bottle.

She furrowed her eyebrows seeing the plate he had broken, by dropping it on the floor, "Bloody hell Harry what are you doing!" She asked him rushing to his side as she pried the bottle from his hand.

"I killed her Hermione!" He shouted, "I bloody fucking killed her!" He slammed his fist down on the table.

"No Harry yo-"

"Shes dead Hermione!" He grabbed her arms, and shook her, "Dead, and its my fault!" His words were slurring, and she didn't know what to say.

She opened her mouth, only to close it again several times trying to turn her thoughts into words, but she wasn't succeeding. She was trying to figure out whether she was happy that he was finally speaking, or to be upset, because he was drunk, "Harry your not in your right mind, you don't mean any of this." Hermione was calmly trying to stop him.

"No Hermione I am in more of my right fucking mind than before!" He was still shouting, and the heavy smell of alcohol was apparent on his breath. Hermione pried herself from his grasp, and lead him away from the alcohol that was lying on the table. She sat him down on the bed, but he was still rambling.

"Harry, you are just upset." She told him tenderly.

He looked at her his eyes focusing on her, and she felt a blush creeping over her cheeks at the way he was looking at her. He gently lifted his fingers tracing his hand across the side of her cheek lightly, "Your blushing." he perceived his eyes following the line of her jaw until he met her eyes, with his. She felt her heart pounding the kiss from the night before flashed into her mind. The memory she had tried so hard to forget, but couldn't. She clenched her jaw, before attempting to stand, "Don't..." he whispered pulling her back down beside him.

"Harry-" He pressed his finger to her lips, before leaning in gently pressing his lips to hers, and she gasped feeling her heart was now pounding as her lips moved to return the kiss. She knew that this was wrong. They were both seeking solace in each other, and she knew this wouldn't turn out well. His hands moved from her arm down to her hips. He lifted her from beside him, and moved her onto his lap allowing his fingers to stroke her sides as he held her waist gently. She wanted to pull away, and tell him how wrong this was, but she found herself wanting it as badly as he did. He laid back pulling her with him. He flipped them on the bed tenderly kissing her neckline, while his fingers traced beneath her shirt feeling the numb skin against his fingertips.

"Harry...we shouldn't...what about Ron...?" Her voice trailed off as he continued to press his lips to her neckline, before he sat up pulling off her shirt the cold air hitting her skin, forcing it to become more numb than before. She had so much desire, pent up inside her that she wasn't strong enough to fight him. He admired her bare skin for a moment, before tracing tender butterfly kisses across her chest, and down her tummy, "Harry..." She whispered as she felt his hands gently unbuttoning her jeans, while slipping them down her thighs.

"He's not here..." He told her as he pulled them off her, before tracing kisses right about her panties, his hands lightly pulling her panties down her thighs, and legs until he pulled them off entirely leaving them on the floor. She was completely bare to his eyes, and the light of the fire, was the only thing illuminating her beauty as he started to tenderly place kisses down her pelvis, until he reached her most intimate of places. He kissed it gently, exploring it with his mouth, and she gasped. He traced his kisses back up to her neckline, before at last removing his own shirt. She gazed at him taking in all of the details of his skin, along with all of the contours that darkened his chest. He was beautiful in the light, and she felt another blush creeping deeply across her cheeks. She gave up the fight, the temptation was too high to back out now.

She moved him onto his back giving up on trying not to touch him. She needed to, feel him. She was starting to desire him. She removed his glasses, before placing them on the table, before she straddled his hips gently removing his belt, and pulled his jeans down his hips allowing them to fall onto the floor, before she pulled off his boxers. She gazed over his naked body, and felt another blush glazing her cheeks turning them scarlet. She looked at him taking in his beauty, before she leaned down starting to trace kisses down his chest. She lightly traced her hand down his chest allowing her fingers to graze his member feeling it starting to harden against her hand. She watched as he started to moan as she gently helped him get harder.

He leaned up kissing her as he felt himself unable to hold back. He flipped them again pressing his lips to hers. His eyes scanned hers as she felt him pressing himself into her slowly. She bit her bottom lip, as she felt him go in all the way. She felt him starting to move, and she cried out, both of their moans collided, as they kissed each other once more. She could feel her heart pounding, and the butterflies in her stomach getting worse as they fluttered within her. Her whimpers were evident as she clung to him both of their orgasms washing over them. She felt him slowing to a stop on top of her, as he moved off of her. His eyes met hers, and she stroked his cheek the sweat building on her body as their lips met once more in passion.

"What are we going to tell Ron?" She whispered softly her voice shaking as he looked at her.

He shook his head smiling, "No idea" he whispered gently his arm wrapped around her as he started to drift to sleep. She started to fall asleep beside him labeling herself as momentarily insane, or something like it. She definitely felt as if she had gone insane. She felt tears pooling in the bottoms of her eyes, at what she had just done with Harry. She was so confused. All the feelings that she had for Ron were now transported on a ten-fold for Harry. She was now in love with both of them. She closed her eyes letting a small sigh, before opening them to gaze at Harry. He was lying on his side already in a slumber. She slowly lifted her hand to graze his cheek tracing her fingers down the side of his face, and neck. She admired the feel of his skin against the tips of her finger-pads.

So much felt wrong about everything that had just happened, but just as much felt right, and that was what confused her. She felt as if everything that had happened was a mistake. They had taken advantage of each others weaknesses, and now she was afraid they had messed everything up. She watched his slow intake of breath, as he inhaled, and exhaled. Her eyes focused as she snuggled against his side feeling his heat instantly warming her naked body. Her lips parted, and she planted a small kiss to his chest, being careful not to wake him. She closed her eyes trying hard not to worry about this. She wondered what would happen once he was sober, would he even remember what had happened? Her mind trailed through those kinds of thoughts until she fell asleep beside him.

Surprisingly he didn't awake that night screaming like he usually did, perhaps what they had done had calmed him, or maybe it was the alcohol. She couldn't be sure, but she didn't wake up until the sun was beating down on the tent in the morning. Birds were chirping outside, while the wildlife could be heard walking through the leaves rustling them. She rolled over on the bed right onto Harry's stomach, much like she had the first night he had been in her bed. She opened her eyes everything was blurry. She rubbed at them, before everything came into focus. It took her a few moments to realize where she was, and what had happened the night before. Her eyes widened, as the images rushed through her brain, all of them were running rampant.

Harry started moving underneath her, and started to awaken, due to her weight on top of him. He reached for his glasses that Hermione had carefully placed on the table beside him. He froze when he saw that she was naked, and on top of him, "What happened?" She could tell that he hadn't remembered what happened yet, if he was going to at all, "We...didn't did we?" he asked, while Hermione moved off of him holding the covers to her neckline. She was terrified that she had ruined their friendship. She knew that it had been a moment of bad judgment that shouldn't have happened, but it had, and now there was no denying it.

She nodded sheepishly at his words, and he looked away, "Oh god..." running his fingers through his hair as he allowed a sigh to escape his lips. Now she was worried as she saw him unsure what to do about what had just occurred between them. She could tell he was partially hung over by the look on his face.

"I...i'm sorry Harry..." She whispered shaking her head.

"No this was my fault." He told her looking away, and she looked at him reaching her hand up to turn his face so that he was looking at her.

"Harry, what do you feel for me?" She asked him wanting to know seriously how he felt. She searched his expression it was torn, between lust, and denial. She didn't have any idea which he was willing to follow in this moment. She was torn as well. Her heart was pulling her between Ron, and Harry. She wanted both of them, now she had to choose.

"Hermione...I..." He looked at her for a few seconds, before lifting his hand, moving hers off of his cheek. "I don't know," He looked at her shaking his head, "I don't know..." he repeated standing from the bed pulling on his boxers, before walking to the couch, and sitting down. She sat up in the bed keeping the sheets covering her. She felt tears threatening to fall again. She felt like he had taken her heart, and torn it to a million pieces, and left her standing there to pick them up on her own without his help. She needed Harry, even if he was only going to be with her as a friend.

She followed him to the couch, sitting beside him the blankets wrapped around her body still, "Harry, please don't pull away...I need you" Hermione's voice was meek, and for the first time she felt uncertainty running through her veins. He glanced over at her, and she saw the same pain running through his features that she had. She could see that it was taking all of his self control, not to give into her.

"Hermione I-"

"Your in pain, I can see it Harry..." She was nearly crying, and he shook his head.

"No...Hermione...please..." He whispered looking at her shaking his head.

"Please, let me help..." She whispered, "Let me take it away..." She lightly took his hand, and started to stroke it with her own. He closed his eyes, before letting out a deep breath.

"Hermione..." He whispered again, as she looked into his eyes leaning in to kiss him. He moved his lips with hers kissing her back, before pulling away again, "We can't do this...I can't do this to Ron..." he told her.

She bit her bottom lip looking at him, "Such a mistake..." She whispered, "This...all of this its such a mistake..." She stood looking away from him. She couldn't believe that last night she had been pushing him away, and now he was pushing her away. The harm had been done, there was no taking it back. She kept the blankets wrapped around her.  
"No Hermione-"

"It's okay Harry, I'm sorry," She whispered, "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have let this happen" She raced to the kitchen lifting the alcohol bottle off of the table, and hurled it at the wall, watching it shatter, while the alcohol sprayed all over the floor near where it shattered, "Im going to kill them when I see them!" She growled under her breath. Her mind was racing, and she wasn't sure what she wanted at the moment. She just wanted her heart to tell her what she wanted, but that was the whole problem. She couldn't decide, and Harry was now pushing her away.

"Hermione, what are you talking about!" He asked her.

"Fred, and George they gave us this alcohol that you drank!" She sobbed, "You wouldn't have been drinking if it weren't for them this wouldn't have happened!" She was in frantic tears as she sat down at the table the blankets still wrapped tightly around her.

She was trying to figure out what to do, "Hermione, this happened before all of that, don't you remember?" He asked her.

She looked up her eyebrow furrowed as she attempted to figure out what he was talking about. She took her memory back to a few days before when they had shared a brief kiss, "That was meaningless..." Her voice trailed off, as she looked up at him, "Wasn't it?" She asked him searching his eyes. She knew that this couldn't happen, not between them, Ron would be eternally devastated, he would never forgive either of them especially Harry. Ginny was gone, but Ron was not, she was scared to hurt someone.

"Fuck!" He shouted, "I don't know Hermione!" She jumped at his outburst, and she started to feel more pain rushing through her. She needed Harry right now, but Ron was also a big part of her heart, and soul, just as much as Harry right now.

"I love you Harry, and I don't know what to do!" Hermione shouted back, and he stopped looking at her searching her eyes trying to read them. He allowed a seep breath to part from his lips. This was more than either of them could handle. She felt so much pain rushing through her heart, and soul that she didn't know.

"I love you too, Hermione, but I can't do the right thing for us without hurting Ron, and I can't do the right thing by Ron without hurting you! So what the fuck am I supposed to do!" He shouted at her, "You always have the answers so what do you think I should do!" He finished putting everything on her.

She knew deep down inside that what they were doing was wrong, but in this moment she didn't care. Ron had abandoned them, not the other way around. Neither of them had abandoned Ron, he had abandoned the both of them, and now he wanted a serious answer, "Screw Ron he isn't even here." She said at last, stepping forward towards him, "What do you want?" She asked.

He stood watching her as she spoke, and at last took a step towards her tenderly tracing his fingers over the back of her hand, "I want you..." He told her, and she smiled, as he tenderly pressed a kiss to her lips, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

* * *

**AN: BAM! So what do you guys think? This has to be the most epic crazy chapter I have ever written haha (No joke) I love love love Reviews ;D**

**PurveyorofPulchritude -**

**Yea I do write particularily fast :D Yea once again spellcheck screwed up the loose and lose XD YES thats my fav part ;) I wanted to bring a sense of normalcy into Hermiones life when it came to her playing house :D My reading comprehension skills are particularily exceptional actually haha :)**  
**I have always been good at comprehending what I read :) I read all different generes, (Favorite is Historical Fiction) but my fav authors are Katherine Reiss, Ann Rinaldi, Lynn Austin, Erin Hunter.**  
**All good authors of amazing books :D love Anna**


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